TRANSPARENT FRIENDS POSE AGAINST THE MONUMENT

I fell asleep planning boots to march in: zippers at the toes. I fell sleep to the shape of the oval alarm clock, tangerine still bright through the black. Throughout the course of the day, sweat changes scent. I’ve read books where fists are pounding down the house walls but in my neighborhood there is a silence as sober as clouds. You rode the subway downtown with the sign in your lap. On the way home, high school kids were folding pamphlets into paper airplanes. 

packed bags

i watch, out of the corner of my eye
a small ghost push through my mouth
out into the air
next to the two kittens fighting

on that dumb blue chair.
i
side eyeing
can't stop shit from de-composting
but, Miss Manywounds,
it could be my given name too.

A Moment's Notice

In a moment,
a clock will tick,
you will breath.

The world has changed for you.

Without notice, it happens again and again
for light years
for forever.

In time, maybe you will understand it.
How time is powerful
precious, inescapable.

In one
single
solitary

moment

you realize you lost something important,
irretrievable.

No notices
or moments
will win it back or change the movement of time
of choice
of destiny.

No moments can bring back love lost
or gained or found.

Moments are simply that.
Less than seconds but priceless.
For they change the world

And disappear.

Pirate

The hiiiiiiiigh seas are great!
You've been afloat so long,
skipping on chunks of lighthouse glass,
blown out beacons on coast or coast.

And that is where you shall head,
where you can't see,
and your hull is hulled, is Hull,
with a creak that makes me wince,
it has scraped many a shin.

When the chatter grows weak with neglect,
and you come in from the cold,
the wreckers will find you a purpose,
you will rise and sell dreams once again.

El Yunque Meditation Triolet Variation

water, translucent and pure

wash away foamy white, the anguish

while I ponder my little wishes

water, translucent and pure

drink away my fear

soothe all the lonely sorrow

water, translucent and pure

wash away foamy white, the anguish

                                                of my people.

In my dreams there are
mammoth lovebirds
singing all the wrong songs

I'm toned down to sing
low as the lowest bough
and dust the unkind ground

Now you're wagging a candlestick
so let it ring out,
this girl's into rare arson

Knotted shades in a bedroom
or over tiny opals
I'll call your eyes, to keep shut.

I'm Not Coming Home and

I can't and
I won't
trap my fingers in the doorjamb
or drop a rock on my quad
I will honor and bow to and sing to
the fragile vibrations of rocks and
walls and bellies books and knees
they are rare and humming, I will
honor them with rare humming.
I will kick over chairs  I will do less
I am blossoming into flame
I am becoming what I am

I am singing in gratitude in
reverent orgasmic fear all the chakras
are singing and open and nothing
too open we hope not open to tears
but weeping on buffalo and tortoise
when necessary    -   to be seen but
not recorded, recorded but not seen,
a red sharpy underline of the fragility
the essential rarity of moments of song
of dance of not fixing, of doing
less, IT IS ALWAYS MORE AND
LESS than you expect and we
perform to grapple with that, to fascinate
ourselves with that, to continually evolve
NO LESS than dancing monks.

I dance for you, me, the door,
this fragile ephemeral body with sore neck
and tingling pussy and grateful belly, this
incredible power of the strong and fluid
joybody and the presence of new scars,
new ugliness that is indiscrete from beauty.

I applaud you, dancers of this moment,
I hide from you and reveal myself.

Performance is more an act of revelation
It is all water through a sieve
No gold is caught for long but
returned to the river.

I train bodies that decay, we feed to shit
we are trains to the ends of the universe,
going, smoking, loading unloading,
making balloons and popping them
there is nothing stopping us
there is everything always stopping us.

i got sick-er after i spent

$125 on a clinic visit

ha

now one work day off later

i'm back to just the sore throat

i originally had

RUNNING

I return with an 

empty tank

eat cabbage

in a camping bowl

in the dark

a pickle from the jar

a christmas lollipop

disgusting

I bought running shoes

they are orange and grey 

they absorb the mud 

and wind 

and rain

I am counting

seconds, minutes

halves and wholes

this is the addition

of movement 

and distraction

release me out 

onto the Y pier

calling out to traffic

exorcism plea

Selective hearing

When the wind

When the wind is very green

When you see down and see them

And see them

And the red there

And the rain

The rain is ever green

And the world

When the rain

Tells ever green out

Tells very green at all

The center

The center of us

The center of us and

Better run

The center

The center of us

And the winter is ever green

I was

Recording this

See down

You see down, you see

And be that good when

And get it all interest free

The center

The center of us

The center of us and

Better run

The center

The center of us

When the wind

And the winter’s ever greener

And winter’s very green I was

And the winter turns ever greener

And the wind

When the wind

And the wind gets ever greener

We‘re floating

When you see down

And see them

They’re ever green

It might not be that good 

When both hands get in

The center

The center of us

The center of us and

Better run

The center

The center of us

Oh girl

And the when

Turns very green I was

There

And the winter turns

Ever green

I would keep moving

skater wallet
blueberry mouth
hands pitched into mats of vegetation

JANUARY

I’ll stop talking about everything

I’ve lost. Soon.

I forget about January,

the way my gut lurches around

inside of it empty

wanting to be filled,

the way it stands me up in spirit,

I keep coming full force

with nothing more to show,

the way I clamber to fill myself,

meet myself places I shouldn’t go,

the lake on cold dark afternoons,

houses where the fire’s lit for different guests.

I’ll become silent. For once not wanting

to be beautiful, just clear.

tri-state travels

i am too involved

i love you

let me breathe

"does he know what he'll do

when i'm not around?

"come over! 

if you want!"

you don't mean to do it

but you mean to do it

i will not hurt you

can't you see that?

i just don't want to start too late

because it would end too soon.

comfort is very dangerous

Two old ladies like me

There were two elderly women in rite aid
Each had a 12 pack of light beer
One chose miller
The other keystone
I thought
They know how to party
I hope I am like them when I grow up
Then one of them looked at the wall calendars
I had just looked at
And as I stood in line with my calendar in hand
I thought
I'm already like them