Get somewhere you can let your hot steam off. 

I'm in a pink diamond, my face and skin and hair floating all around my face, connected from my beaming heart, everything else is a cold blue lake. 

I've collected a love token and now I'm on fire in a perfect shape. No one can see me except for those who play the game which I'm pretty sure is just me. Is it a secret then? That I am the only non-person-shaped explorer in my neighborhood, and possibly in the whole world too. 

I rub myself on a tree, over on Evans' yard, feeling the bark-skin making prickly noises on my tights, and making the side of my face pink like I've been sleeping on my side a long time or got into a scratch war with my brother. 

There is a soccer ball sleeping in the gutter near the park. I run up and scoop the dirty ball into my arms, holding it like a baby and giving it some mad mother dirty baby kisses, getting elated and pulling my whole self up onto my toes like I can fly away just on the feeling of this ball. 

There are dogs. I bid adieu to the dogs and walk on. I know they are a rude bellwether to ending. 

I get a wild burst in my eyes and yell out loud down the street. Crows lift from all of the trees. I go pink fading diamond go, and walk on. 

fix-it

Don't do something "interesting'
to avoid the intense vibration
of your first choice.

I'm Dead

I have too often considered
than on October 23, 2004
zooming down a pitch black
one lane
Dutchess county back road
in Lilah's grandmother's green Subaru
with Brendan sitting shotgun
and recounting the plot of War and Peace
while Lilah giggled in annoyance
and I leaned forward, unbelted
between their seats to hear
that when Lilah ran through
a
3
second
stale
red light
at the only intersection for 15 miles
just as an RV
came barreling through on the left
-- it is entirely possible
that as I screamed
and Lilah jammed on the accelerator
that we may not have passed
mere inches ahead of the 7 ton behemoth
but may have, in fact,
been smashed, imploded,
burst in a puddle of blood and fibers,
shot through with metal shards and glass
and quickly breathed out our last breaths
--and that every second since then
every dance class, every park walk
every breakfast, babe, snack, steps,
this cloudy morning, your sweet new glasses
every birthday balloon, shampoo rinse and condition,
dirty feet and waterfall underhikes
--have all been my death-dream
my sweet hereafter, Shangri-la
I have been dead since I was 19 years old.

cold squish hip like

the floor or whatever when i could sleep on the floor 

joyful sensation of normalcy in a freaky body

Olympic Feat

Big boorish boulder, mean old thoughts. 
I despise discomfort, I always have.
And when I want evens, to peel into selfish altered smile,
I imagine you as enormous rock formations,
lustily crashing into others; 
planets becoming meteors, becoming hunks,
becoming dust.

IF THIS HONDA COULD TALK

the upholstery might give

away my secrets --

who I kissed and who I told.

rearview mirror saw a mouth

on my neck, a mouth on my ear,

my hand inching up a thigh,

saw us crying, saw us yelling

as some scenery rushed by,

someone leaping out

and slamming the door

on a dead end street

as I suck in a deep breath

of recycled air then

wipe down the windshield

and U-turn for the road home.

a cigarette dropped into

emergency-break crack

and I don’t smoke.

cheerios and paper dragons

smashed together in the back seat

and I don’t have kids.

short white hairs on every ass

as it rises through the doorway

and the dog is dead.

cat sleeps with me

we share the same bed

but only when she wants to

Gydyby (If)

coffee legs blackout
short strides
if anything towards the library
closed for renovations
to meet the math freak
show a different face

the surveillance tower
guards the cross guards
puffing hot air into the cold air
if you're smart

Elias

each day I wonder
what will he do
what will he say
how will I respond
can I keep my cool

today he surprised me
snuck up behind me
wrapped his arms around me
told me "I was just thinking you don't get enough hugs"

as much as he annoys me
and drives me crazy
yells and screams and throws tantrums

One little hug redeems him
until tomorrow

XEROX PETALS (AT THE SUNN/EARTH SHOW)

In the theater, 

perched,

I had whole body shakes 

while the thick straw plunged 

into my soda water 

for courage

Revelations muddled like 

an old brown lime

Darkness upon darkness

(it's a repeated local theme)

the unison climax and crash,

the theatrics of forever,

an emerald at the apex

in this emerald city

Then I see Angela

all cheekbones and boots

She still sells potions 

at the market

her love wilted 

an education's worth 

of years ago - 

she lost him to the other island