Promissory Note

In the act of being that which sent myself something. Receiving what it is in haze and being sent up. Vague idea about what I should be doing, when I should be doing it. When, when, why? Still locked to the law, operating a personal assessment, a dark sheet of paper, handed over, sadly skimmed with a blank, infirm scrawl. A personal assessment, running me through, a self-criticism. A conference on what I have done and how it was wrong and what I will do and when it will be wrong. Flapping for a gambit, losing the thread, sweating profusely as a volunteer; few know how to ask me, and when.

Art forms in nature

she will fossil you
her teeth chipped
and shoulders raised
like the 7th grade boy
who wrote on a flashcard
someone kicked
in my personal
spot and it doesn't 
hurt but something 
is coming 
out
the shape of it a crystal
or stalagmite.

THE NEAR DEATH OF CAPTAIN COOK/REALITY VERBATIM/JULY 6, 2012

You go to dead people’s houses every Friday looking for Eames chairs.

Oh, my ex-girlfriend was a chair specialist, the top scholar in her field. 

We start off trying to make mojitos - but then I’m just drinking - jack and lemonade, under a yellow moon. 
Then all my skin is warm. 
My neighbor is a perfect swimmer, missing her much younger boyfriend, 
more and more each day. 

Then I think I’ve passed some critical point. 

How many bug bites can a body of my dimensions reasonably hold? 

How many conversation like this - 

I’d like to rewrite the arrangement. From now on my job is mostly about sunbathing. 

From now on,  we only agree to see each other so long as we’re really cracking up.

Okay?

My dad sits in the back alone. The magic girl puts her hand on his chest to thank a compliment.

Next door there are grunts and growls. 
Tomorrow is the auction. 
My life is writhing like water, chained and contained by the old beach rope.  

mindless numb

is a moment
when pain sets in

here on my own
no
but the choice
 is mine?

took it
a-way

struggle
find
words

itallfitonthepage

Wednesday night

I hope you didn't feel rejected
I just wasn't in a sexual mood
and I really wanted to watch the Lion King
and my vagina just feels really weird right now
I guess you wouldn't know what that's like, huh?