In the 90s

I was short
Even shorter than today
I was young
In a way different than today
I loved roller blading
Spice girls
Platform shows
Lays chips
Glitter
Inflatable furniture..
Those days are gone but they
Live in me
My friends
My life

Hall

A prefect knows your secrets,
And a prefect kicks up dust and your heels,
As you scuttle along,
A fussy corridor,
Underwhelmed by faith,
By borders, bordering blue bloods,
By their dads of the ether,
Who were pummelled by prefects,
Yes shiver,
Oh snivel, you wraith.

morning vs. night

I.
M.
Y.
T.
M.
I.
T.
M.
W.
I.
W.
U.
A.
F.
T.
I.
A.
A.
A.
.....

acres of highway grass

I'm talking to a dumb robot
Plop plop pleep plop ploop plop plop
Goddamn humans
Someone programmed this thing
And left it to rust
Greened copper and cinnamon iron
Dust crust and oil in its joints
Wind whistling through its vents

I jam my fingers on its buttons
until my distal phalanx bruises
Press the dot, the circle
pull the levers
turn a dial
It creaks and moans
Pleep plop ploop Ploop ploop Ploop
Goddamn it
Goddamn it
There's nothing on the dusty red horizon
Only craters and boulders
Nothing in the barren yellow clouds
And I'm running out of air
Goddamn it
Goddamn me

I drop my drill to the ground
and cry big fat oil tears
I want to smash the fucking robot
but then I'd be the only one left
I bang my head on his cylinder
Plop
Goddamn damn damn
That robot has no head and no heart
They forgot me here.

Uggh

I've got a foot like a donkey
I put it in my mouth often


Don't get too close
'cause I'll kick you in the face

we found love

has it been as bad for you as it's been good for me?

the reason i've asked you here is because i have unfinished plans.
no reply means you want to keep playing.
replying means you want to keep playing.

my mind runs around in circles looking for your heart

The TV Room

Pink walls all around
Abuela's wooden rocking chair

Flower cushions hand-sown
Love seat soft and brown

Ivory lace curtains hanging down
Abuela's altar warm candles glow

Novelas on the TV with rabbit ears
the safest place I'd ever know

Abuela's here, not a thing to fear
Love, and only love in Abuela's TV room

by Mariposa María Teresa Fenández

SUSTENANCE

a banana, a granola bar, a tequila shot in a paper cup.

just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean

you have to be confused. there isn’t a box

big enough to hold what we've got.

bags aren’t free anymore. nothing is.

I’ll carry everything in my arms.

can’t afford to drop anything but a beat.

a year

It's a question of our relationship to struggle.

I say, the site of liberation,
while you say just the means.

and while I struggle to wake and greet you,

two mornings this week you got out of bed so early,
just because you were too excited to start the day.

It's been a world since the last time I said this:

Not I love you, but obviously we already love each other.

Not I'll be with you, but I'd say we already made that choice.

two days that warm week I bumped in to you,

in union square, in your cut off shorts.

on first avenue, in sweltering heat.

I had two big bags,

but you had a roll of mylar on your shoulder that made mine look small.

this was always about work, but 

work that's about joy.

the way I close the door now and huff.
and you chuckle like you smiled on first avenue
and wait on the couch as the sun rises
for me to get up.

The loneliness of the long-distance runner

To be a long distance runner in a parking lot you must pass back and forth a great many times

And if the lot is not well lit and if the school bus driver is driving fast

You may find yourself in Burke Rehab Center

Knowing you are not in the right direction

Forgetting this room was even here (wondering where they put the basement)

Inviting a slew of people to coffee and dessert,

Figuring the route to the diner as your wife slips quietly out the door.

NOT lost, little ringing

THE YEAR AS IT WAS

and it came to pass

that I was full of stuff

splinters, muscle, 

mucus, crystal

discarded to the bar-night

no longer child-animal  

but extinct creature, 

all hair, and cuffs

snake shape, 

deflated, 

skin smell, 

and ancient

ice

THEM

All day long they surround me
with their smell
crowded around my desk
Moving my papers aside
To make room for their own

All day long they make noise
constantly chattering and gossiping, laughing and grinning
forcing me to watch silly, stupid videos on YouTube
of creepy snowmen scaring innocents who pass by
Their rap music always blasting from their headphones
as they repeat the disgusting lyrics aloud

All day long they eat their snacks
and drink their Arizona iced teas
filled with artificial flavors and gallons of sugar
Stuffing their tummies with pretzels and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
wanting a napkin to wipe all the carbs off their faces

I ride the train home finally feeling free from them
except they're everywhere
I push by them on the train
Because they always block the doors
and can't seem to hear you when you say excuse me

One brushes by me on the crowded steps
hurrying down to the empty 7 train
and I get a whiff that makes me realize
They all smell like Doritos
and Arizona iced tea

i fell and pretty hard
for an eye doctor who doesn't have time to see me
that's been the story for six months

she wouldn't even give me a checkup
when i asked



and now this

she can't do new year's
she says
because she has a bad flu

starting to get the feeling i'm being strung along

a doctor lying about being sick
that's pretty rich
if you can't trust people in the medical profession
then who
really
i ask you